Time of Transition
Homesickness
Staying Informed
Student Concerns
Roommate Conflict
Community Living
Academics
FERPA
"The Phone Call"
Returning Home
One Last Thing
Subscribe
 |
Office of Residence Life |
|
   |
Jump To |
|
|
||
Attending college, especially when your student decides to live on-campus-- away from family and long-time friends, is a trying and confusing time for both students and their parents. This section of our site has been developed to make the college transition a little easier on everyone! Going off to college is a milestone in a student's life, but many forget that it is a milestone for parents as well. It is a time that will be new territory in your relationship with your student and one that will no doubt be anxiety ridden. This is especially true if this is your first student to leave home for college. The Office of Residence Life recognizes the importance of assisting students, as young adults, in taking on the responsibilities for impacting their living environment, meeting deadlines and self-advocacy. However, as they make this transition, many students need the additional support from their families. The information found on this page will hopefully assist in reducing the concerns and anxiety surrounding having your student away from home as well as ensure your student becomes a responsible and self-sufficient global citizen.
A Time of Transition -College is a period of transition not only for your son or daughter but for you and the other members of your family. During this time of transition your student will still continue to need your support. Parents can help by being supportive and trusting, and encouraging independence. Accept that you won't know every detail of your student's life and what happens on campus. Most students come to college having lived in a somewhat structured environment. It is important to realize that although your student may never have lived away from you before, going to college is an exciting and important step in his/her growth. The values you have instilled, along with their new campus community values, will help your student make good choices and decisions. Although living in a residence hall is unlike anyone's home, your student will actually be living in an environment where staff understand the developmental process and transitional issues experienced by college students, and so they can help students adjust to life at the College at Florham. This will require some effort on the part of your student, as staff depend on students to come forward if they need assistance. [ back to top ] Homesickness -Homesickness can be one of the hardest areas to help your student move past. For your student, life has changed and will never be the same. The first two weeks of the year are filled with many activities that help people get connected. Your student needs to take advantage of those opportunities in order to become a member of their new campus community. Throughout the year it is important to write letters, and send food and care packages, a sure sign of support. You have no idea how excited students get when these arrive. But don't hover over the mailbox waiting for a letter in return. It is not unusual for your student to want to come home occasionally during their first year, but if they want to come home every weekend try to find out why, they may be struggling with the social aspects of on-campus living. Encourage them to give it time and get out and meet people. Many students find this easier if they join a club or organization. The College at Florham has nearly 50 clubs/organizations to fit the needs of almost every student. [ back to top ] Staying Informed - "Knowing is half the battle." This mantra from a popular 80's cartoon is as true today as it was then. The Office of Residence Life, and other university offices, must communicate hundreds of items important information to students each semester. The university utilizes 3 primary modes of communication with students. FDU Webmail (email), On-Campus Mailbox, and residence hall voicemail. It is of the utmost importance that student setup and check email and voicemail often. Students should also check their mailboxes daily. Although many students bring cell phones to campus and have private email accounts, it is helpful as parents for you to use the modes of communication provided by the Univeristy as well. The more integrated these forms of communication become in a students daily life, the more likely they will stay in the loop of campus happenings. As for student mailboxes, who doesn't like getting mail? Send cards or care packages to your students as incentive for them to check their mailboxes. Copies of many, although not all, email items sent to students through our Residence Life Updates are also sent to the Parents email list. You may wish subscribe to this list to assist you in staying informed, however be careful not to use this information as "nagging ammunition", but instead remember your student is usually already on top of this information. Copies of these notices are also posted on our website. [ back to top ] Managing Student Concerns - Learning to manage issues and concerns within a complex organization is a vital part of becoming a competent adult. If your student reports difficulties associated with the residence hall experience, we urge you to encourage him/her to take personal responsibility for seeking resolution. The best action you can do is be supportive; show concern and understand their struggles. Ask questions, but try not to invade their privacy. Often students will let you know what is happening, but at their own pace and timing. Encourage your student to get to know the Resident Assistant on the floor, and other staff members in the area. For the majority of your student's life you have been right there to help make decisions and choices. As a college student they will need to be more independent and self sufficient. Although they will still want to talk about their experiences, you need to empower your student to solve their own problems by offering guidance, encouraging independence, and trusting the student's decisions. Handling difficult situations for them only impedes their development. We encourage you to be a resource for your student. In essence, we want parents to “help us help your student help themselves.” When conflicts occur, please ask your student questions (who could they talk with?) instead of offering to call and fix the problem yourself. In addition, please help the student understand that by solving their own conflicts, they are in fact learning an important skill to becoming independent. It will soon make your student empowered to undertake other challenges with confidence. Since students can and do resolve most of their own concerns, parental involvement is usually not necessary and in some cases complicates the resolution. However, should you need to become involved, please feel free to contact a member of our staff. If we can not accommodate a request, we will provide an explanation of our policies and procedures. [ back to top ] Roommate Conflicts - Roommate conflicts are natural, even if living with a close friend. Living in the residence halls at any university is learning to live with a roommate. This experience will help your student to learn essential skills like communication and boundary setting. We have systems in place to address roommate concerns. You can help this process by challenging your student to actively work through the issues, instead of avoiding them or looking for easy answers. Changing roommates is often not the only (or best) solution, so helping your student seek alternative solutions, will enhance the learning that can come from this experience. Each area has Resident Assistants (RA), that has been trained to handle roommate issues. The RA or your student can also ask for assistance from their Area Coordinator when necessary. [ back to top ] Community Expectations -Many parents and students come to campus with preconceived notions of campus conduct, university regulations, and the law. These are often based on media accounts, someone's memories, and assumptions. But every university has to abide by federal regulations and must respect the particular laws of its home state and town. The College at Florham also has its own traditions, regulations, and institutional integrity. If parents know more about institutional and legal expectations, they can reinforce the positive teachings of the campus community and help their students avoid complications. Rules and regulations are designed to protect the rights of students and encourage individual and community responsibility. They exist for the following reasons:
To learn about the community standards, visit the policies section of the Residence Life website. [ back to top ] Academics - While your student was in high school you could monitor how much time was spent on academic work but now, they are the masters of their own time and energies. Talk with your student about how they plan on balancing this new freedom to ensure that they succeed academically. Be careful to not make them feel like you do not want them to have fun, but rather that you want to help them succeed socially and academically. Ask very pointed questions that demand answers greater than "things are ok". Your student may not tell you everything that is going on, however if you stay interested, they will know that you are there and will come to you when they really need you. It is normal for students to see grades drop a little compared to high school. This may come as a shock to both you and your student. Your student is experiencing a life-transition from high-school to a university, and for many students a temporary drop in grades is typical. Don't let your student get depressed or discouraged, instead encourage them to get help or to refocus. Tutoring, study skills workshops, and other academic support is readily available for students. Open communication with professors about expectations and struggles can also be a valuable step in success. Students who seek assistance from the various campus resources typically get back on track and do fine. [ back to top ] FERPA -One of the most common questions from parents is “why doesn't the University send me my child’s grades?” or "why wasn't ____________ information sent to me?"
It’s a reasonable question. After all, the parents of most undergraduates do pay some or all of their children’s tuition and fees. The reason usually is two fold. First, students must learn to accept responsibility as young adults to manage their college experience and to seek assistance when they feel is the right time. Second, much of the information regarding a student's individual educational records (academic, social and disciplinary) are protected by federal law. FERPA applies both to K-12 and post-secondary educational records, although there is one key difference in the way that the law applies. In K-12 the rights under FERPA belong to the student’s parents until the student turns 18. In post-secondary education the rights belong to the student, regardless of age or dependent status. The law affords students certain rights concerning their educational records, including the right to expect that information in their educational records will be kept confidential, disclosed only with their permission or under provisions of the law. One such provision allows the release of “Directory Information” – name, address, major, degree sought, honors (including Dean’s List), and other such information – without student permission. Directory Information is the type of information that generally would not be considered harmful or an invasion of privacy if released. You might ask, “What does this have to do with sending grades to parents?" Well, grades are not considered Directory Information, so the University will not release them without the student’s permission. Even to parents who pay the bills. There are some important exceptions to FERPA. In disciplinary cases where an underage student is involved in an alcohol incident or when any student is involved in an incident where illegal drugs play a role, the University has the option of sharing this information with the parent without the student's consent. The other notable instance is in emergency situations where the student is unable to communicate with their emergency contact (most of the times the parent but not always). In this case the university will contact this representative on behalf of the student. Students may sign a FERPA waiver, available in the Dean of Students Office, which permits the University to discuss their educational records with the parties listed on the form. Please understand however, that this waiver only applies to educational records and does not apply to medical or counseling services rendered by the University (which are protected separately under HIPPA). [ back to top ] "The Phone Call" - Be prepared for "the phone call". Often it comes just after midterms or near the end of the semester, when work is piling up, grades aren't what was hoped for, or they are struggling with some other issue on-campus, your student may feel overwhelmed or unable to cope as well as in the past. Your student may be upset and chances are he/she is going to call you. It's important that you don't panic; remember that this is normal, and as much as you'd like to alleviate the stress, you can not (and should not) "fix this" for them. Your student will rely on you to be calm and reassuring about their ability to successfully work through the challenges. Encourage your student to seek help from the campus resources that are available. [ back to top ] Returning Home -Understand that your student may have difficulties returning home on holidays after experiencing life on their own. For the last several months they has become accustomed to only their own daily routine - not the family's. Your student has not been living with the house rules that may have been in existence in your home. Sometimes they come home with new expectations for family members and for their own independence. It's a transition time for everyone. Also remember that you will not be the only ones that your student will want to see on trips home. High school friends often become a high priority during the times that students from multiple school are all home from break. Try not to monopolize your students time and attention. [ back to top ] One Last Thing - Be knowledgeable about campus resources. Visit the Fairleigh Dickinson website often, www.fdu.edu, read the plethora of materials that came to your home as your student was preparing to begin at the College at Florham and frequent the Office of Residence Life webpage often. [ back to top ]
|
||
Copyright 2007 - Office of Residence Life / Some Images Copyright Eric P. Range
